Excaliber
by Happy1K1nob1
Summary: It's a story about a thief in the world after the phoenix king.
1. The beginning of a new legacy

The warrior said nothing, for his mouth was full.

Then he swallowed.

Then he took another bite.

He was, of course, aware of the glares and stares he was attracting. It was a natural occurence. He made sure his hat still covered his face. It was an earthbender's hat, left on the ground looking like a wok. The shirt was red and black, emblazoned with a green flame he'd sewn on out of the tattered remains of the shirt that obviously went with the hat.

"You think he's a runaway?" One man at another table asked his companion.

"Obviously. Probably stole that staff from his father."

He tilted his head at them. Odd, isn't it? They mistook him for a young man of the strong, silent type, who would steal his father's weapon in a final act of rebellion as he ran away. It was a magnificent weapon, but it wasn't his. He knew that as he knew he could never make friends, never stop being a loner, never truly run away from the truth.

His hand whipped up and grabbed a bony wrist and flung it across the room before taking another bite. He smiled at his limp form. Definitely alive, but obviously not unhurt. He stopped smiling when the men at the table stood and came over. They were tall.

"Why'd you hit him?"

He chuckled. "I didn't hit him. He broke the fall with his face. I just kept him away from me." His voice was deep and gruff. But it also seemed a little forced. "He has no right to be tryin' to steal anything from me. Didn't even sneak up on me properly." He just had to smile at the facts.

"He weren't trying to steal from you." One man said. "He was just passin' by."

"Yeah? I'm amazed you actually believe it when he tells you he wasn't stealing."

"I tol' you he weren't tryin' to steal nothin'!"

He studied his posture, as it was too dangerous to study his face, and saw he actually believed his words. "My gosh, you're right! He wasn't trying to steal something that has kept me alive a few times." He chuckled. "What do you think, bigfoot? Is he an idiot, or are the rest of you idiots?"

"Who you callin' 'Bigfoot'?" He came up real close so that she could smell his reeking odor.

"You." Struck a nerve with that one. "I'm tired. Can I just call it a day and hit the sack?"

"No. You insulted our friend, then you insulted us."

Probably didn't understand the phrase, just the fact the request was there. He tilted his head and he began to chuckle, then stopped for a split second as a glint of gold came into view. 'Oh, shit. I need to get out of here.'

"Well sorry boys, but I have an important place to be soon and I'd hate to be late." He stood and tried to leave, but they pushed him back.

He sighed. "Oh darn. I was hoping to avoid this." His fist lashed out and destroyed their faces in quick succession. "Now** that** was a punch." He told the unconscious bodies. He left, deciding that town was not a good place to be.

When he was outside, someone called out to him. "Hey!"

'What now?' He thought, turning. It was a kid. "Yeah?"

"Come over here!"

He shifted, looking left and right nervously, then came over to kneel beside her. "Yes?"

"Can you help me? My kite landed in that tree and I can't get it down." She was pitiful-looking and- Wha- She's using the puppy dog pout!

Must. Not. Get. Distracted. Must. Resist. Resist! RESIST!

Damn.

"Sure, I'll get it down for you."

He stood and sighed, looking at the tree. It was very tall and the kite was near the top. Damn again. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the rusted metal claws he'd found somewhere and began to climb the tree. At the branches, he put them away again and looked down.

20 feet down was the ground. He's done 30 feet easily without getting hurt, but the rules of the game are different here. And 20 feet is breakneck for normal people. He shivered and looked up, aiming, then jumping for the next branch. He chose his next branch as he got up, got ready to jump, and jumped. It became a cycle. Aim, tense, jump, scramble. Aim, tense, jump, scramble. When he was almost there, he looked down.

BIG MISTAKE! He hugged the tree for a moment, getting up the courage to jump to the kite as he got over his vertigo.

'Stop thinking about the fact that it's a hundred feet to splat from if you miss. Stop thinking and just do it!'

He focused on the kite, jumped, and scramblingly grabbed at the branch. He panted. 'This must be sort of like extreme rock climbing. How the hell does **she** do this shit so often?' He reached up and grabbed the kite.

'Finally! Now to get down... Hey, why not use **that** trick?' He tucked the kite into his shirt for the seconds it would take to begin the trick. Then he pulled out one of the claws and pushed off of the branch towards the main body of the tree. With his now free hand he grabbed the kite and tried his best to hold on to both as the claw tried to come out of his hand while slowing his descent. He finally stopped on the last branch and pulled the claw from the tree. "Can I just fly the kite to you?" He asked her.

"Yes!" She yelled back.

He threw it lightly, like he was throwing a paper airplane, but also firmly and with purpose. He smiled when she caught it.

"Thank you!"

"You are most welcome! Try not to get it caught in a tree again!" He smiled and turned around. This branch was a lot thicker than most. "Definitely a good spot." He went up to the main body of the tree and sat against it, waiting for sleep to claim him.

His eyes shot open and he heard a small sound. He rolled forward and felt the heat wave as the fire missed him. He grabbed the metal claws, if only for an extra weapon, and peeked over the edge.

It was those guys from the bar and the other one. The one with the glint of gold. He needed to get out of here. He looked around and saw a rooftop nearby. He ran a little and jumped to it, rolling when he landed so that he could run that much sooner. Aware that the bright green flame on his back made him an easy target, he tried his best to put speed into his run, but was still caught flat-footed by a ball of flying flame. He slammed against the wall of the next building and landed on a crate in the alley. He groaned. This night was not turning out well. He got up and grunted at the pain. The whole world tilted on its axis as he ran in what ever direction made some sense.

He heard, and ignored, the angry catcalls from his persuers and just kept running. He bumped into someone in a metal mask and the world righted just long enough. He tried his best to not fall as he said dizzily, almost drunkenly, "I know you. You're The Blue Spirit. All I gotta say is IT'S ABOUT FUCKING TIME!"

Then a ball of flame claimed his consciousness. It didn't claim it completely, however, as he felt it when the ground slammed into him, when his hat fell off, and when someone picked him up some minutes later.

'

The Blue Spirit surveyed the unconscious bodies in the street. He saw a small child in an alley and took off his mask before coming up to her. "Did you see what happened?"

"Yes sir." She pointed as the subject came up in her sentence. "Those guys went after that guy for something to do with an insult. He tried to run away but the men were too fast for him. I wanted to help him for getting my kite, but I didn't know how. Is he going to be okay?"

The Blue Spirit nodded. "Yes, he will be fine. Are you okay?"

The little girl was relieved. "I am now."

He nodded and stood, going over to 'him'. He picked 'him' up, surprised at how light 'he' was. He made sure to collect the dropped garments and objects, pausing over a small greenish rock. It puzzled him for a second, then collected it with the others and brought everything in his arms over to the train of people waiting on him. At his gestures, they left the small town with the guest and 'his' items.


	2. Waking up

He woke up quickly and was immediately seized by fear. He stood, examining the room expertly.

A mirror on one wall, only one door, a small mattress trying to pass for an expensive cot that he'd just left, and a tall bundle in a corner. He went over to it and examined it closely. He smiled and sighed in relief.

"Good, they didn't take it." He put the bundle on his back where it was comfortable like it had been for months. Then he noticed he wasn't in his normal clothes. Which means...

He went over to the mirror and gasped. He'd known since the day he was born that he was actually a beautiful woman well-endowed with the gifts of her kind. What concerned her however was that she was in a kimono with nothing underneath. She didn't have any of her possessions except the bundle. Only the bundle and one other thing was important. She had to get it back. Fast.

She slid open the door a bit, looked carefully both ways. She then opened it all the way and began to tip-toe quietly away.

"You're awake."

She jumped and faced the man, ready to attack if necessary.

"No need to attack. I am-"

She relaxed. "I know who you are, Iroh of the Fire nation. Though this is the first time I have ever seen a truly accurate image of you, I recognize you perfectly."

He raised his eyebrows and stroked his white beard. "Is that so?"

She nodded and raised her own eyebrow. "I'm a little curious. Why aren't you freaking out? I'm quite unusual as you can see."

"Yes, but you are also beautiful. Such a flower should not be rejected simply because it is unusual."

She smiled patronizingly at him. "Yes, but such a flower is so often rejected by those who consider anything 'unusual' to be evil." She replied calmly. "I have strayed down the wrong roads in the past, but only wish to survive and complete my mission."

"And what is your mission?"

"To ensure the bundle on my back gets to who it belongs to. If it doesn't, then it will burden me for many years." 'Why are you speaking with such rhetoric?' She asked herself. 'Matter of fact, why are you _thinking_ in such rhetoric? Get it together woman! Either ditch 'im or get 'im to help you!'

'There's a third option.' A small voice said. 'Just react like Zaphod Beeblebrox in the book The Hitchiker's guide to the Galaxy and let life take you where it will. Don't think. Ok, you can think, but don't overanalyze or let your thoughts overcome your reactions.'

'Yeah, like I'll do that!' She retorted internally. Outwardly she said, "There are many mysteries here in this world. Pain is only as mysterious as the source and hurts just as much either way."

Iroh gave her a blank look.

She smiled shyly. "Sorry. It was supposed to be mysterious or hard to properly fathom fast. But whenever I open my mouth to say something like that, it comes out stupid beyond belief. How'zat for sappy?"

Her eyes widened before closing with a wimper generated by pain. She staggered a little, holding her head, and tried her best to brace herself against the wall.

"Are you alright?" Iroh asked worriedly.

"Don't touch. Not safe." She said haltingly through the pain.

She knew what came next.

It was never pleasant.

'

She knew the hallucination almost word for word by now.

"Capacitors are go!"

"Calculations are complete!"

"Lasers are go and ready!"

"Trans-Dimensional Vortex Inducer is activated and ready!"

A small redhead appeared in the scene and barked out over the rising whine, "Everybody remember last time?"

"We're prepared!" Came the stereo response from a pair of twins.

"DO IT!"

'

Now came the bad part.

She gripped the wall, hard, digging into it in a vain and futile attempt to hold off the inevitable slam into the wall. She actually ripped a part of the beam out when she physically rose up an inch or two before rotating 90 degrees, slamming her back into the wall. Her face contorted from the pain of two combined forces trying to squish her flat enough to slip away.

She wanted to scream. Of course she did. She felt like her guts were being ripped to shreds by a red hot poker and little metal sewing needles were dancing along her skin, piercing it everywhere they touched with cruel liquid nitrogen- and liquid oxygen-cold tips, creating an ice-cold fire of blood with shards of blood ripping up her remaining organs. Especially her brain.

Yeah, she really wanted to scream. It would be demeaning, but at least it would take a small burden off of her shoulders.

Luckily, she felt sparks before she did. Thank heaven for small favors and all that. She fell to the floor, and in her waning minutes of conciousness, she had another small hallucination.

'

"Shut it down!"

The machine powered down, still sparking a little from the overload.

"What happened?" One man asked the very similar one next to him.

The second man started searching through the pages of complex calculations frantically. "I don't know what went wrong. All the math matches up. It should have worked."

Then two voices, a well-respected scientist and the ghost of a whisper of a well-known woman that hadn't existed for years, said in near-complete unison, "Maybe the problem's on her end. Maybe she needs to have a similar amount of power on her end at the same time."

The redhead's eyes went wide with realization. "That's probable. Potentially exactly it!" She was seriously excited. Kinda the opposite of what you might expect as the news was crushing in that there was no way to match the power on the other side.

'

Then all reality dissolved into a chaotic whirlwind of images, small scenes, miniscule tidbits, all coming and going too fast to be comprehended properly. Not that comprehension was a priority. Nothing made sense. There was a light that beckoned her, pulled her towards it, and a darkness of similar pull. But there was another form of chaos that pulled even more strongly and she liked that chaos. It was a friend.

A familiar face in a crowd that asked her to dine at its table.

As she got close to it, a small 66mm projection reel started rolling without a projector and showed her a small scene with sound. It had a beauty, a grotesque face almost superimposed on the beauty, and her with two barely conscious bodies nearby and her and a friend barely still standing and panting. She suddenly straightened and stopped panting, then laughed maniacally, ending up rolling on the ground laughing. She said some words in a language she couldn't understand just yet and tried hard to stand properly, managing it when she was attacked and she parried before counter-attacking. Then she ran at the beauty who'd attacked her and grabbed her head and twisted.

'

She bolted upright, suddenly awake. Seconds later came pain and such extreme dizzyness that the world seemed to be spinning on all three, if not on four, axis at a hundred miles an hour.

"Oh, gods." She muttered several curses into the hand she put to her mouth as she waited for the world to stop spinning. She started to heave several times, but managed to keep it in untill someone gave her a bucket.

She spat out some remaining bile from her mouth and said, "Thank you." She panted for awhile and spit out all the rest of the remaining bile before sitting back. She saw the fact that she was now in a much different kimono and cocked her head. "What happened to the last one? Was there too much dirt in the hallway or something?"

"No, nothing like that." The female voice was calm and soothing, almost as fluid as water. "It set itself on fire."

She nodded and said, "Uh-huh. Well, that's wierd, but sorta understandable; I think. At least I'm wearing something _real_ now, underwear included." She burped. "Oof. Nasty. Reasons why I hate blowing chunks." She shook her head and decided to lie back down.

"I don't think you should lie down." She was a little unsure of herself.

She glared at the woman. "I know several doctors who are so good at their job that even if it wasn't their life they'd still be the most well-known doctors world-wide. They'd be yelling at me vehemently for not taking it easy for a week and restoring all the energy I've spent recently." She thought a moment. "On the other hand, they'd also have a better way to restore it so that I wouldn't start losing all the lunch they gave me. A way that you don't have, so it's probably just a good idea to keep going, not be a burden." She sat back up and tried to stand, but lost her balance pretty fast. She fell into a girl's lap and was slowly moved back onto the cot. She felt the move, but didn't see it. "Aw, shit. Apparently I lost a lotta blood." She began to giggle.

"What is it?" The female voice asked.

"Cabbages." Was all she said before laughing hysterically and babbling deliriously.

The woman gave a worried look to the girl on the other side of the room and collected some water. When she touched it, it glowed a bright white-blue and followed her hands to the delirious woman on the floor to heal.

'

She shot up and panted.

After a bit, she laughed and said, "Wow. This is becoming quite the pattern for me, isn't it? At least I'm not throwing up yet."

She rubbed her neck to soothe away some of the tension and stood, successfully this time. She checked her back for her bundle, nodding that it was still there, then stumbled back to a wall when she couldn't maintain her balance after the nod.

"Whew. I'm really suffering from blood loss. How I survived for so long beats the hell outta me." She put her weight on the wall instead of on her legs and surveyed the room properly. Four people were in the room. "Well, either I'm hallucinating, something I really mostly discarded when I first felt the ravages of bending firsthand, or I'm seeing four fairly important people in the same room. I should probably feel very honored, but honestly, I don't give a f-" she bit off her sentence midword to replace it "give a care. I do apreciate the save back there Zuko, but I need to get going. This bundle's not gonna get to it's owner by itself, now is it? But before that, I have a slightly more pressing matter to discuss with you."

Zuko sighed. "No, you don't. You have to explain to me a few things first."

She nodded. "Yeah. The fun part. Interrogation." She sighed. "Look, all I need is some bed rest, some decent food that I've been without for most of the past few years, and I'll be out of your hair. Or you could waste your time asking me questions that I don't have answers for, satisfactory or not, while Azula runs free to cause as much havoc as she wants!"

She smiled at their reactions. "Yeah, I thought tha'd get your attention."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean it as I said it. She's not in prison anymore, and that's all there is to it. So, here's the deal. You keep me for a few days to get my strength back up to par by feeding me real food while you search, and I'll be a nice, docile little girl planning my next move so that nobody has to get angry. Deal?"

"No." he said flatly.

She raised her eyebrows. "No? Because I can give you a lotta trouble if I want to. Especially since I can get out whenever I want."

Zuko sighed. "I've known she's been out for the past month. I made sure that no one would know if I didn't want them to and you're the first to know that I haven't told. You can probably do much better than I ever could at finding her."

She nodded thoughtfully for a sec, then decided to prod at a small twitch in his face. "I'm betting that's not all there is."

"You're right. There are two rebel factions that don't like me or my rule. I've been trying to deal with them for months."

She smiled. "Three, perhaps? I know that _one_ has been chasing me for at least a year. I named that second group in my head 'The Order of the Phoenix King' because of the big ol' birds on them, usually as crests on their chests or tattoos." ('And because of J.K. Rowling.' She sniggered internally at the thought because it was quite true.) "And besides, I've got problems of my own that just complicate the hey outta things."

He looked at her, uncertain of his next move. She was strange, this one. He wondered where she got her information, who did she have on the inside, why was she so certain of these things...

He shook his head, trying to get these thoughts to leave. Instead, they began to take over.

"Having a little trouble, are we Zuko?" she prodded. "Then I'll help. Who do I have on the inside? No one. On the outside? Plenty of people trying to kill me. Not like that's anything new. Secondarily, I don't know a thing. Not a darn thing. I get, intuitions sometimes and, they mostly tend to come true. And as for Azula? Not a clue how I figured that out. It wasn't any sort of intuition or anything, just like it was a fact I was born knowing, or something like that."

He came to a decision. "Then what do I call you?"

"Shego."

"Shego?"

"Yes, Shego."

"That, is a stupid name."

"I agree completely."

'

A/N: Yep! Good story so far, dontcha think? Please review.

Ruby of Raven, I know you're watching! P.S., Thanks for the amazing short story, 'A Kite?' I know I already said this, but good job! It was really well written. *Facepalm!* Not _was_! _Is_!

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